aGoat.com

Did you know that being sick sucks? If not, then you are in for a big surprise. “What surprise?” You ask? The surprise is me punching you in the face until you can’t breath through you nose and your head feels like it’s been run over by a truck. YAY!!!

Being sick can be caused by many things, for example:

-Shaking hands with someone that is sick and hasn’t washed their hands.
-Not properly washing your own hands and touching your eyes after being around sick people.
-Having someone cough on your face.
-Using a needle you found at the playground to shoot up.
-Licking the floor of the men’s room.
-Or when you are hanging out with some new friends you met at the club and they are all like, yeah man this party I heard about is going to be awesome you should totally come, so you go off to this “party” and have a few free drinks, then all of a sudden you are like what the hell and everything gets all blurry and you pass out. All I remember was having these really strange dreams that I was a Chinese finger trap. I mean, not me, but you know, like if it were to happen to me, which it wouldn’t, uh… :/

From Gizmodo
“…As former chess champion Garry Kasparov was giving a speech to unite opposition political forces…” FLYING PENIS!!! What? For serious, a flying penis.

After a little flight the penis came down after getting a mighty whack from a young member of security, sending pieces of the penis all over everyone. When questioned about why he decided to whack the penis the young man responded, “I got really turned on by Mr. Kasparov speech and couldn’t help myself.”

It seems that the Vancouver International Airport is just a giant erection.

This one is a little bit more erect.