Most people don’t know this about me, but I’m a supporter of starting kids on drugs as early as possible. Many drug dealers have the problem of attracting new customers, but now it should be a piece of cake to get kids to do Krank with Krank Pops. That’s right, just pop over to your local 7-11 and get some Krank! Not only is it cheaper than its rock shaped cousin, it comes in three great flavors!
Because of he nice weather I decided to take a nice stroll to my local Subway for a yummy $5 foot long. On my way I encountered the strangest man that I think I’ve ever met.
He declared “I am King Menkaura an Egyptian Pharaoh.” He reeked of cheap whiskey and old mayonnaise, so it must have been true.
I asked, “Dear Sir, why is it that you have come through time to meet me here?”
The King pondered for a few moments as if to pick the right words, “I have traveled through time to make a request of your kind sir. You are known throughout the universe as one of the most generous and great people in history.”
I was not shocked by this, as I know how generous and great I am. So I continued on to Subway while King Menkaura waved good bye.
The End.
I just wanted to let everyone on the internet know that August 8th is International Honk Day. The details of the timing haven’t been flushed out yet, but the idea is that everyone in the world would honk their car horn at the same time. Some believe that this is the ultimate way to end global warming and create world peace. We at aGoat.com believe that it will be the ultimate way to confused the shit of people that don’t know why everyone is honking at the same time. Check back later for an update as to when your local area will be honking its horns.
Here is one example of the greatness that can happen on August 8th:
and you just have to accept that.
I’ve been gone
I am back
I will post
and smoke some crack
I know it’s not generally accepted, but I hope you understand.
Today was going to be International Fox Hunting Day, but the organizer that was responsible for getting the foxi (we no longer use the word foxes) FORGOT!!! I don’t see how with three years of preparation that one of the lead organizers of International Fox Hunting Day could forget the foxi. To those of you that were hoping to celebrate International Fox Hunting Day today, we are very sorry. To those of you that were going to protest International Fox Hunting Day, you can go back to being high and eating sour cream and ranch pringles.
Please keep in mind that we will also be forced to cancel next weeks International Fox Hat Day.
This is one of those sites that you bookmark and almost never use, but when you do it can give some great info. If you fly often then you should be checking SeatGuru every time you fly.
The website starts by having you pick the airline you will be flying with, then the type of plane. From this page you will be able to find out which seats are the best/worst and which ones have electrical outlets.
Also, I figure if you are a terrorist then this would be a very valuable tool. I DO NOT ENCOURAGE TERRORISM, I think it’s very very bad!!! Terrorists are just people that didn’t get hugs when they were little. Save a life, *HUG* a terrorist (before they have a chance to do something bad).
Did you know that being sick sucks? If not, then you are in for a big surprise. “What surprise?” You ask? The surprise is me punching you in the face until you can’t breath through you nose and your head feels like it’s been run over by a truck. YAY!!!
Being sick can be caused by many things, for example:
-Shaking hands with someone that is sick and hasn’t washed their hands.
-Not properly washing your own hands and touching your eyes after being around sick people.
-Having someone cough on your face.
-Using a needle you found at the playground to shoot up.
-Licking the floor of the men’s room.
-Or when you are hanging out with some new friends you met at the club and they are all like, yeah man this party I heard about is going to be awesome you should totally come, so you go off to this “party” and have a few free drinks, then all of a sudden you are like what the hell and everything gets all blurry and you pass out. All I remember was having these really strange dreams that I was a Chinese finger trap. I mean, not me, but you know, like if it were to happen to me, which it wouldn’t, uh… :/
Steroids, it’s what’s for dinner, and breakfast, and lunch, and three times between meals. Check out a this stack of the most ridiculous overly buff meat-heads: http://www.lifeinthefastlane.ca/when-bodybuilding-and-steroids-go-too-far/offbeat-news
His arms are stuck like that.
On another topic: Can I still be a vegetarian if I eat my own Steroid muscles?
From Gizmodo
“…As former chess champion Garry Kasparov was giving a speech to unite opposition political forces…” FLYING PENIS!!! What? For serious, a flying penis.
After a little flight the penis came down after getting a mighty whack from a young member of security, sending pieces of the penis all over everyone. When questioned about why he decided to whack the penis the young man responded, “I got really turned on by Mr. Kasparov speech and couldn’t help myself.”
Are you looking for someone to film and edit your next important event, well I’ve got just the folks for you.
“Who needs a movie? Getting Married? Got a web site? Fund raising? Commercials? Selling something? Movies can make your life go better!!”
I wish you all the best and hope that you make some amazing movies with Fred and Sharon.
Here’s a bonus video:
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